The Ideal Way of Harem
TL : Kirisaki Shin
ED : FrozenInk
Harem appeal contest.
Just from the name, you can already guess that event is for the popular guys to show off their girls and make the audience jealous.
In fact, maybe it’s really about making people jealous.
It’s not such a sweet tournament. Soon enough, you will understand.
「Well then, for the first contestant, please go up to the stage!」
The aristocrat promoter ー Pepero-san, seems to serve as a host and judge.
Because it was held every week, they seems quite used to it.
「Look at my lovely girlsー!」
3 people, a man and two girls walking up to the stage in high spirits.
They are young. For their appearance is…… I don’t know. For me, I don’t think they are really cute.
But each person has different sense of beauty.
The attention of the audience gathers at the ladies who are close to that man.
………., the venue got quiet.
「Well then, for each harem member, please go forward, and then turn around on that spot」
After peperon-san announced that, the first black haired woman walks ahead on the platform. I will never forget the smile of the audience.
The boastful face of that harem’s husband is impressive.
「Mira desu. I am working at restaurant」
It was at that time.
The audiences started making noise as if a broken dam.
The silence from a while ago disappeared it’s as if a situation before volcanic eruption.
「So damn ugly! It’s so ugly! someone please help!」
「That nose (LOL)! Please cover that pig nose!」
「Only her hair looks beautiful, the rest is dirty, it makes me laugh, she will make the food gross!」
A storm of insult is coming from left and right.
Vulgar laughter piled up on top of one another, and for some reason, rotten bread is flying through the sky.
She never thought that she will criticized like this, she is soon bursts into tears.
She is not too ugly though.
It’s true that she is not beautiful. But, it’s not until the level that will make the food become bad.
The remaining harem personnel are the same level of appearance as her.
And sure enough, there are insult poured towards them.
The harem’s husband as expected couldn’t remain silent.
「You bastard! Cut it out! even her hair alone is enough to charm you」
「No need. I rather walk with female dog rather than with a damn ugly like yours」
「get-out, get-out, get-out ♪」(Tn: ka-e-re, ka-e-re, ka-e-re!)
As the “get out” call became worse, pepero-san raise his hand and tell them to be quiet.
「I still haven’t counted the points yet. Well then, from the right, 30 points, 26 points and 20 points. A total of 76 points!」
Just for your information, the perfect score is 1000 points for each person.
Isn’t that too low?
The first group went down the stage in a semi-crying state because they recieved super strict scores.
The world is too harsh, it almost made me and Emma to give up.
「This…… this is very harsh」
「Uee, it makes me want to go home……」
「Sure, please go home then. I alone am enough for noir-san」
「I will not go home! I can endure that kind of insults after all!」
Emma’s fighting spirit is came back in an instant. laura-san is good at agitating people.
Be that as it may, I will prepare to go home anytime.
there should be no trauma remain in our heart.
The second and third group is also got severe abuse as well.
「Oh, that person is beautiful」
There’s one beautiful woman inside the fourth group.
I wonder if the audience will also poure harsh insult at her or not.
「I am a clerk at a tool store. nice to meet you」
My impression is gradually improving because of her dignified attitude.
The audience also became silentーー or so I thought, one person is opening his mouth.
「Is that…… a chest?」
「That’s also what I thought. It’s just a chopping board after all」
「Yup, chopping board♪, chopping board♪, chopping board♪」
Even though she is beautiful, the cutting board call didn’t go away for a while.
And yet, she got the highest score ever.
Compared with the other two being 100 point, the gap is comparatively big.
Pepero-san will gives a high score if the girl is beautiful, but if not he will give a low score.
Well, if it’s not like that, then it will be just a bullying competition in the end.
the ninth group is the harem of the famous adventurer from a rival guild, Ramuh.
As expected of the top rank, all four of them are beautiful.
Each of them is over 800 points, it’s over 3300 points in total.
Eh, wait a minute……
「Oi oi, no matter how hard we try, we can’t beat them」
「I am fine. It’s fine as long as we got top 3. Currently, second place is 950 points, and third place is 800 points. If we get more than 801 points, then we can proceed to second round」
「I understand. Let’s go then」
We confirm our resolve and go up the platform.
Even though I am the most useless here, I can’t help being tense. I am worried that they will get abused.
For the first, I nominated Emma, but the atmosphere is too tense.
「Emma, take it easy. It’s okay, I will be your support」
「Un, thanks Noir. I feel at ease now」
When I gently pushed her back, Emma walks confidently.
Because she is walking while jumping, her breast is also go up and down.
「Emma desu. I am going to hero’s school」
The place become quiet, no one is opening their mouths, they were just looking at Emma.
「……Damn it, that face and that breast…… Fuck」
「Heroes school is an elite after all……」
Thankfully no one is bad mouthing her, then I do a baton touch with Luna-san.
「My name is Luna. I am a saint and an adventurer. Please tell me if there are someone injured here, I will shot my heal shot!」
「What a great style……, what’s with that slim body and hand……」
「furthermore, she is an elf and a saint」
「Isn’t it Luna-sama……? Is that your boyfriend……?」
I can feel that the voltage of the venue is gradually decreasing.
And lastly, Laura-san is walking while showing a smile on her face.
「Hello! I am a receptionist of Odin. If there’s people wants to become adventurers in here, please come to my place by all means okay?」
「This child is cute. how can that be?」
「She also shrewdly doing business here, what a brave girl……」
Both of them is amazingly beautiful, there’s no flaw showing at all. Face and style is also good, and voice quality is good as well.
They can’t speak badly about them.
I am glad.
「Uumu, perhaps this harem is the best so far」
Pepero-san is also admiring them and giving more than 950 points for each of them.
In total, it’s more than 2900 points, so we passed at second place. They are happily high touch with each other.
「We did it~」
「I am the only one who didn’t do anything, sorry!」
「It’s okay desu. Beside, this is where it gets real」
「Umu, let’s put up our spirit」
Us and the pair of adventurers from Ramuh are on the stage and the second battle will begin soon.
「I will tell you the theme here. Then, the harem member will answer it by their action. The team that is able to make everyone jealous the most will win」
First is the team that has the beautiful woman with the chopping board(chest).
「Okay then, here we go. There are 3 themes.
1. What would you do if your husband is shivering inside the futon because of the cold night?
2. What would you do when your husband caught a cold?
3. Prove that you are the best harem. 」
That’s a sensitive situation!!
What kind of action will they do with the theme given by Pepero-san More specifically, how can your harem can prove their love. I think that will be the conclusion between victory and defeat.
「Both of you, please come here」
Laura takes Emma and Luna, then they start the strategy conference.
Since they want a fresh reaction, they are not telling me the contents .
It seems the judging will start from the chopping board beautiful woman’s team
They had a hot kiss that could blow off the cold and gave the bread from the moderator mouth to mouth.
The audience makes a fuss with a bitter face.
But, it strange that nobody is going back. They didn’t want to see it, but they also want to see it. Maybe they embraced such contradicting feeling.
Up next is Ramuh’s adventurers also have similar reactions.
But for the last harem appeal.
Each of the harem member say words of love.
The audience and pepero-san grasp their chest, as if they are in a pain.
Finally, it’s our turn!
Well then, I don’t know I should do.
I think I should sit on the bed.
「Okay then, first, what will you do when your husband feels cold?」
When pepero-san asked, Emma, Laura and Luna cutely began running with a smile on her face.
「Is it cold? It’s okay I’ll warm you up now~」
「It’s okay, it’s alright now, it’s not cold anymore you know~」
They are kindly embracing me like a kid, and hugging me from 3 direction.
Moreover, they move their body up and down to bring a heat.
「Ugh, those guys……looks so happy……」
「Oh no, I will not have any regret anymore if in the cold night 3 beautiful girls do that to me」
The audience is suffering. Pepero-san is also breathing roughly.
「Tha-that’s it! Next, next situation is when you are nursing your husband from a cold!」
Pepero-san is threw a bread toward us.
Then, Laura-san immediately made a knee pillow and laid me down gently
While Laura-san is looking at me and smile like a goddess, Emma is massaging my whole body.
「As usual, thank you for your work~ since you have a cold, please rest okay~」
She said it with a smile.
Then, when I am enjoying the feeling of my muscle tension loosen up, this time, Luna-san is tearing the bread into mouth size and blew on it.
While being confused, I enjoy the tasty bread.
『It’s just a bread, and yet!? even though it’s not hot at all, she blew it just like that』
『Wh-why, at the time he get cold they treat him so nicely like that』
An agonizing cry and pitiful aura wrapped the whole venue.
「Me too…… in my old days, my wife and my daughter was also…… ugh, next. Please do the last harem appeal as soon as possible!」
When pepero-san shouts, the girls stand me up together.
Emma in front, Laura on the right side, and Luna on the left side.
What are they doing?
At the time I was thinking, they yell at me in harmony.
chu chu chu
They kiss me at the same time, I was completely still. The audience responded earlier than me.
『It’s so painful, as if my hearts has been gouged out!』
『Host, please, don’t open our wound anymoreeee』
「……my wife…… and my daughter’s face is…… so…dazzling, uwaaaaaaaan, please stooop, I don’t want to think about it again」
The host, Pepero-san is the first one to break!
While being confused and groggy, I came and asked.
「Anoー excuse me. So, what happens with the result?」
「You can become the winner, just please leave this place immediately」
『That’s right! it will just become a trauma now!』
After that, we received 1 million ria and leave that place immediately.
ＬＰ1300 → ＬＰ3700
I didn’t achieve my purpose right away, but it is a big leap forward.
I haven’t done anything though.